Nuclear Arms

Nuclear Arms made a strong impression on me from a young age. My mother was (read: "is") a hippie and an activist and I saw my first images of nuclear devastation and received my first lecture on them in elementary school. My mom didn't do this on purpose, I was tagging along at some kind of meeting by choice. However the effect was lasting, and I was probably the only person in my middle school class who knew all about basic nuclear science and its applications before we learned it in seventh grade. (Read: "nerd")So today when I saw an event in the library run by the SGI group and I was very interested. Actually I was busy and almost walked right by it but a representative student caught me and asked me so kindly in English to have a look at their exhibit. How could she know that the kindly foreigner was a Physicist? I was pleased.

Especially of notice was a panel with a digitally rendered image of Seoul with a giant

mushroom cloud covering a large portion of the city, including details on the potential destruction. It's nice to see someone making the message personal. (Although I have to point out that they didn't portray well the nothingness created by even the first two seconds of a nuclear explosion.)
There was also a panel on Hiroshima and Nagasaki ("I went there especially because of the atomic bomb museum," I said.) On the panel was a picture I knew, entitled, "The lens clouded by tears." I remember crying when I saw it in the museum. They discussed with me the mission of the group that "The time to discuss the issue of peace is NOW."

As I walked away (remember I was busy) I stopped to take a photo. A student asked me if I wanted them to send me pictures they took. "Of course," I said and gave them my card. "O.O You're a professor?! I thought you were a student! Oh please wait, no, no you can't leave. Please sign our guest book! The Chancellor and many other professors have signed it." I decided right then that I was going to be a professor about this.

When I went back to the department office, I sent every student that wasn't busy to see the exhibit. We are bodyguard majors, I feel it's pertinent. Any weapon that can hurt the President is, after all, the concern of the Secret Service, is it not?

Then I went to demo team practice so I wouldn't be late, and ordered all the members (about twenty today) to follow me to the library. ("I don't even know where the library is," one joked.) Of course some of them didn't pay much attention, but that's normal for a field trip. ^^ So I explained after how we should be aware of such things if we become police officers or bodyguards. How far away is safe from a nuclear strike? A hard thought.

I think some of them might think a little bigger because of an exhibit like that, and I know the representatives appreciated the additional publicity. Perhaps I made some awkward because of the strong pro-peace message, but even so, I feel I used my professorship to good effect today if even a few of them were changed by that knowledge.

To be honest, mom, I don't remember how many times I've cried over this. Japanese class presentations, the Enola Gay fully reconstructed. Anime about mushrooms of fire and ash. Thousands of paper cranes by Sadako's monument. A blurred photo of burnt and tattered people huddling together in the museum in Hiroshima. And times I remember and wish I could apologize officially on behalf of all physicists.

I wrote a small message on a wall of notes left by visitors.

"As a physicist I will never support the making of weapons. Because of Nuclear Arms."

I've gotta find my purpose

I realized two goals. And I set them. It feels good. They are attainable, in theory. They are measureable.
This was on the way to Rochester to see my father, riding a bus. I realized two goals, and I set them. I have a direction. It's been a long time. I honestly can't remember how it feels, and I don't feel any different yet. We'll see once I start working towards them.
Finally, I suppose this makes me less of a hypocrite.

White dunes, wind-blown
Cover farms, Carved forms
Cold irony, Crossing isolation
Like white washed winter beaches

How could we feel anything?
Sailing through an empty canvas.
Draw out all of me,
Still unable to paint.

Welcome Back, Luc

I'm currently back in the states. I've been back for a few days now. Already I have asked myself why. But the answers are obvious enough, so let's not assume that me asking means I don't want to be here.
Christmas here is quite a festival. I'm trying to be nice. It's quite an ordeal. Here in Minnesota we will be full of shopping, and big meals, and bulky clothes, and minor quarrels. But the snow is beautiful, cold weather is refreshing, family is lovely, games are hilarious, and gift-giving spirit is wonderful.
I'd honestly forgotten what it's like.

I got really confused (still kindof am) with plate-passing at the table. It's just not something that happens in Korea. Like, ever. And I'd completely forgotten how to do it. I almost handed my uncle my plate after dishing up my own vegetables, instead of giving him the vegetable bowl. -_- And I notice that I hardly ever look people in the eye anymore when they're talking. And I think they're a bit put off by it.
I'm also not yet used to the average height of Americans, or the average weight. Perhaps these are a bit more exaggerated here in the Norwegian Northwest.

But here's a little deeper look. Culture shock, first of all, is a real diagnosable psychological problem. Its effects are mostly pretty obvious, but the coping and the result of experiencing culture shock is what I'm focusing on here. There are generally 3 overall reactions to culture shock.

1. One is Adoption. An individual truly adapts to the new environment, takes on habits, language, attitudes, and values. They do this at the cost of their original identity. They normally remain in the new country forever.
2. Two is Cosmopolitanism. An individual adapts the points of the new culture they see as positive and retains aspects of their former selves or culture, creating a specific blend. They have no major problems relocating again.
3. Three is Rejection. These people find integration impossible, and that cultural differences are too great and unaccaeptable. They withdraw to a "ghetto" of their own culture and specific comfortable surroundings. They see return to their native culture as the only acceptable answer to the situation. Yet these people have the most problems upon return.

I've watched my students come and go from other countries, and seen various incarnations of all 3 outcomes. I've seen extremes of all. I know of a few cosmopolitans who've lived in 4+ countries.

What's the problem, you ask?............. I think I fit in between Cosmo and Adopter. And I don't want to be an adopter. I've watched myself very closely....... and thinking about it, I'm more Adopter than Cosmopolitan, and that's kindof a shame.