Big Boy

I'm thinking a lot recently, and it hit me this morning, I had to admit that because of these thoughts, "I'm not a boy anymore." And I think I remember the exact point where that happened, the change from being a boy. I may still be young, but I'm a man, now. And these swirling, mature, big-decision thoughts constantly remind me of that. And I'm a bit sad. Not because I realized I'm not a boy anymore, but because these thoughts are big and heavy and I want to hide from them.

My schedule keeps getting whipped around. I'm kinda tired of that. But the first 2 semesters of my time here were like that, so I should be used to it by now. It's still annoying. Two of my superiors changed my schedule this week, one approving a change so I could do something with him, then another denying that possibility and changing it back. Like I said, annoying. Not sure what I want to do, either, so that doesn't help.

I realized this week that my current schedule of classes puts me in an exercise-oriented class more than 20 hours each week. Now, some of those hours I'm only teaching and not exercising a lot, or even lecturing a bit (about health or self-defense theory) but some of them I'm expected to lead or participate in intense workouts. 20+ hours a week. When I realized that, I went out to eat and had dessert after lunch. Then lots of pizza for dinner. I thought, "if I'm gonna be working that hard this semester, I'd better enjoy the caloric benefits!" ^^,